Think about that.
Teenagers, with millions of dollars to spend.
Do you know how many Xbox 360's that can buy?
How many games of Laser Tag that is?
Super soakers?
Sometimes I think that society thinks that just because these kids can hit a free throw while 20,000 fans go bonkers, that they're somehow more mature.
They're still teenagers.
Do you understand the kind of damage most teenagers would do with millions of dollars? I have imagined this future, and it's far far worse than Beverly Hills 90210 or even *gasp* the OC.
I digress.
A few notes on some of the picks.
• Derrick Rose - At first I thought Beasley was the obvious choice, but as recent history has proved, if you want instant impact to your team's record, you add a great point guard.
(Jason Kidd to the Nets, Steve Nash to the Mavs and Suns, Deron Williams...etc)
It seemed like there was a point (no pun intended) where it seemed like every team in the league had at least a serviceable point guard, but now point guards are at a premium like Nintendo Wii.
• Michael Beasley - Potentially, he's Kevin Durant with a gym membership. Dirk Nowitzki with hops. If D-Wade is healthy this year, and Miami and get some interior defense, they should be right back at the top of the East. Assuming he can stay off South Beach enough to work on his game, the kid is a bonafide superstar waiting to blossom.
• Still not sold on Kevin Love, haven't we learned anything from Robert Swift, Andrew Bogut, Luke Jackson, Troy Murphy, Chris Kaman and Nick Collison? One still needs to be athletic to play the frontcourt in the NBA, people.
• Ditto for Joe Alexander...btw, can we stop coming up with these generic "whiteboi" nicknames that include either "vanilla" or "chocolate" in them?
On a positive note, there is no way he's not going to be able to hear the coach with those ears.
(L to R) Joe's Mom, Joe's nickname adviser, Joe's ears, Joe's dad who hasn't seen him since 1st grade)
• Props to O.J. Mayo. He's probably the best ballplayer with a drink first name and a condiment last name since my homeboy back in high school, Cider Sauerkraut.
• All you need to know about the Knicks draft pick is that he played for Armani Jeans. I guess they were waiting for the power forward from Louis Vuitton to develop his back-to-the-basket game.
Knicks fans...two words: "Darko. Milicic."
• Eric Gordon actually played Michael Jordan son in that *cough* movie Space Jam. I can't decide whether that is good for his career, or bad. I guess that was back when Jordan was still winning championships, so we'll say his particular osmosis must have been good.
However, that suit he was wearing was making my eyes bleed. He looked like that scene from Devil May Cry when the checkerboard comes to life(anyone?). Less is more, Mr. Gordon.
One last thing about EG...has anyone noticed that the Indiana "Mr. Basketball" award is almost synonymous with the Heisman as far having the ability to destroy 75% of it's winners future careers? For every Oscar Robertson, there's 3 Damon Baileys, Luke Reckers, and Sean Mays.
"Listen, ice cream man, could you run and grab Eric? I'd also like a Choco Taco."• The Lopez's have two things working against them:
1. They're twins ... remember the O'Bannon's? Didn't think so.
2. Stanford players are notoriously average. Josh Childress might be the best one since the 60's.
• Anthony Randolph...How is it physically possible to be 6-10, ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY -SEVEN POUNDS. Is this guy medically fit to play? Every time I see highlights of him, I wanna donate money to help needy, malnutritioned basketball players.
As SOON as you cash that first check Ant, go get yourself like 20 double cheeseburgers.
• Philadelphia fans are destined to butcher Marreese Speights' name. I guarantee it.
I don't know what it is about Philadelphia fans, but we always seem to disembowel the pronunciation of players names, i.e:
"HerSHEE Hawkins", "Andre IGGadala", "Samuel DalemBERT", "Randall Cuttingham"...the list goes on and on.
That's it for me...The Phils need some rooting on.
- Magnum
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